Trailblazers Retreat Conferences, Table of Contents
April 18-20, 2008
Talk 2: Sin and Conversion, and Mary Magdalene as Our Example
Everything Trailblazers does would be completely useless, pointless and in vain if it did not help you to grow in holiness. Your growth in holiness will be the yardstick by which we measure the results of Trailblazers’ pilgrimage to World Youth Day 2008 in Sydney, Australia.
Yesterday night our first talk was about this retreat: how to do it, and what to expect from it. Now is our second talk, and the content will be more spiritual. Therefore we need to start with the mystery of holiness. Why should anyone want to be holy? How can one become holy? What is holiness? What examples are there for us to follow? Can I, as a teenager, college student or young adult seriously aspire to grow in holiness?
An ardent love for holiness, and a clear understanding of how to become holy, are not the only things we need to do today. We will have Mass and Confession, for those are the two most important means you have to become holy. We will also have a big planning session, which shall address all the practical aspects of the trip: what to pack, how our schedule will be, moving around as a group, emergency info, cleanliness and hygiene, how to deal with money on the way, health and medicine, and so forth. We will also watch the Pope, LIVE, on the EWTN internet broadcast, as he addresses young people, and exclusively young people, in New York. (His visit is a historic moment in all our lives!) We will also pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet, and have discussions in groups. There is much, much to do, and little time to do it; so let’s all use our time to the best we can.
Now, to the important matter of holiness. For our meditation on holiness, I present to you the Gospel personage of Mary Magdalene. We will see here at three important moments of her life, each time at the feet of Jesus the Lord, who is the Son of God made man in the womb of the Virgin Mary. First she wept, then she anointed, then she clung. What do her actions mean? Let us take a close look.
First, Mary washed Jesus’ feet with her hair.
(Luke 7:36-50)
Now one of the Pharisees was requesting Him to dine with him, and He entered the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. And there was a woman in the city who was a sinner; and when she learned that He was reclining at the table in the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster vial of perfume, and standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and kissing His feet and anointing them with the perfume.
Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet He would know who and what sort of person this woman is who is touching Him, that she is a sinner.”
And Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he replied, “Say it, Teacher.”
“A moneylender had two debtors: one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they were unable to repay, he graciously forgave them both. So which of them will love him more?”
Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.”
And He said to him, “You have judged correctly.”
Turning toward the woman, He said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave Me no kiss; but she, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My feet. You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed My feet with perfume. For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.”
Then He said to her, “Your sins have been forgiven.”
Those who were reclining at the table with Him began to say to themselves, “Who is this man who even forgives sins?”
And He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
(Discuss some of the terms of this passage, to make it more intelligible.)
This was the moment of conversion for Mary of Magdala. She was a sinner, and everybody in town knew it. It is not rare in the scriptures that this terminology was used as a modest way of saying she was a loose woman, most likely a prostitute. Yet if you think that was bad, think of what St. Luke says just a few verses later, that among the women who followed Jesus, one was “Mary who was called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out” (Lk 8:1-3).
Mary had heard of the Lord Jesus, and believed in his mercy. She didn’t stand there and say, “Mercy? Who needs mercy? Are you calling me a sinner, by saying I need mercy? Jesus, you’re so judgmental; I don’t need you,” as many an American teen might say today. Nor did she say, “How could I ever be reconciled to God, I who have done so many and so shameful sins; I who am possessed by seven demons of hell?” She rather opened her heart to Jesus, and wept for her sins.
This was the first step of conversion. The spiritual life begins with turning away from our sins, breaking loose from their bonds, and overcoming sinful habits. This beginning is very hard and painful, and requires the crucifixion of our sensitivities. It means saying no to lust, quieting anger, putting aside greed, and being diligent instead of lazy. And so that requires suffering and penance. It is impossible to follow Christ without suffering.
But that is not the whole story of Mary. There is the second time when she fell at the feet of Jesus, not to wash his feet with her hair, but to anoint them with precious nard. We read in the Gospel of John:
(John 12:1-8)
Jesus, therefore, six days before the Passover, came to Bethany where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. So they made Him a supper there, and Martha was serving; but Lazarus was one of those reclining at the table with Him.
Mary then took a pound of very costly perfume of pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped His feet with her hair; and the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.
But Judas Iscariot, one of His disciples, who was intending to betray Him, said, “Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and given to poor people?” Now he said this, not because he was concerned about the poor, but because he was a thief, and as he had the money box, he used to pilfer what was put into it.
Therefore Jesus said, “Let her alone, so that she may keep it for the day of My burial. For you always have the poor with you, but you do not always have Me.”
It is interesting to see that once again she does that very unusual gesture of brushing her hair upon his feet. A woman’s hair is in some sense her glory and beauty, or at least a symbol of it, as a part can stand for a whole. The ancient Jewish priests covered their heads (Ex 29:9); and the covering of the head is a sign of humility (cf 2 Sam. 15:30; Esther 6:12; Jer. 14:3,4). There is an old custom in the Church, which very few women still use today, of covering their heads in church. This is not just an antiquated leftover of some social custom of times past; St. Paul associated the woman’s hair, with mystical symbolism, in 1 Cor, to authority (11:3), glory (11:7), order of creation (11:8), purpose of creation (11:9.), and the angels (11:10). It would take us far afield to penetrate all of this. I wish to only stress how this woman, this human person, took that which was a symbol of her entire beauty and glory, her hair, and thought it was a good idea to use it as a cloth upon the feet of Jesus.
This only makes sense, if one sees the spiritual meaning of all these things.
Mary now had entered upon the second stage of her spiritual quest. Her first stage was to be free from the slavery to sin. Indeed, she was. She left sin when she met Jesus, and never went back. A Proverb says, as St. Peter in his Epistle quotes, “The dog goes back to his vomit” (I think 2 Pet 2:22). Mary did not go back to her sin. But that’s not all the spiritual life has to offer, just freedom from sin. It also offers a life of worship of God. This is symbolized by the nard.
Nard was an extremely expensive perfume, costing almost a year’s wages. Often in scripture, nard was shown as the fragrance of the woman whom the King loved, as in the Song of Songs. The King is Christ, and this “woman” is the Church. Her fragrance is her love, lifted up to God as prayer and meditation, and symbolized by incense.
This was the second stage of Mary’s relationship with Christ, characterized by growing knowledge and love of the Lord. This knowledge was deep and interior, not the knowledge learned by books – which might not be bad in and of itself, and can even be very helpful – but the personal knowledge obtained through intimate relations, profound conversations, through spending lots of time together.
There is a third time when we find Mary at the feet of Jesus. This was at the resurrection. Again in St. John we find Mary at the tomb of Jesus. He rises from the dead, and at first she does not recognize him, until he says to her, “Mary,” calling her by name. God knows his creature, God loves her and has come to save her. In this passage, we read:
(Jn 20:10-17)
Mary stood weeping outside the tomb. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb; and she saw two angels in white sitting where the body of Jesus had been lying, one at the head and the other at the feet.
They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?”
She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not know that it was Jesus.
Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?”
Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.”
Jesus said to her, “Mary!”
She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabouni!” (which means Teacher).
Jesus said to her, “Do not hold on to me, because I have not yet ascended to the Father.”
She held on to his feet. This was the time after the crucifixion. It was also the time of her spiritual union with God. She did not get to this level of union with God, however, except by passing through the horrific agonies of the Cross on Mount Calvary. For there can be no holiness without suffering, at all stages of the spiritual life. God isn’t found only in consolation; he is found most in desolation and pain, abandonment and failure, and in every form of cross.
Notice however that when she clung to him, he commanded her not to. This is mysterious for those who do not understand the ways of God, but clear for those who are familiar with them. Even at the level of greatest union with God, the soul finds itself in profound interior abandonment by God. This was the dark night of Mother Teresa of Calcutta [explain].
Every stage of the spiritual life – conversion, growth, and union – comes with it’s own type of suffering. There is the purgation of sin, the giving up of what one most loves for love of God, and then the abandonment by God in this life.
So many people try to grow in holiness, and they want good feelings, high emotions, powerful insights, ecstasies, visions, voices, dreams. But none of these things make a person holy, nor do they indicate holiness. On the contrary, excessive love for such passing things can easily become an obstacle – yes, obstacle! – in one’s love for Christ. Because all of these things are creatures, but God wants you to love Himself who is the one and only Creator of all, and of you.
Jesus continually told the Apostles and disciples about the Cross, but they never believed him until it happened. Many even abandoned him at the cross – only John, the Blessed Virgin, Mary Magdalene, with a handful of others, stood at the foot of the cross. Why didn’t they believe him? Didn’t they know that Jesus is God, that he means what he says? But they, like we, often fled from the cross.
What crosses is Christ asking from you? [Propose some examples of teens and young adults in 2008.]
Where are you in the spiritual life? Union? Growth? Conversion? Or perhaps you have not even started the first stage which is conversion, because you haven’t really decided to let go of all your sins. Maybe you like your little sins, and you think they will make you happy. Remember the Magdalene! Her conversion was hard, but she had enough within her to get through it. Don’t let yourself get too far from Christ, as you never know whether you later will have the strength to get back to him. Many leave him and never come back.
May this retreat be an opportunity for each of us to decide to really live for Jesus the Lord. We Catholics are in the world, but not of the world; you are all different from all of your peers, don’t bother trying to be like them. Be like Christ, know him, love him. Remember that he too knows you, that he is God, and he loves you, and is waiting for you in heaven.
[Questions and discussion.]