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Strong in the Matter, Soft in the Manner
On Charitable Speech and Slander (Part 8)

Associate Pastor's Column
Sunday, February 25, 2007

OK, just two more installments to go, this one and next week…

Let me begin with a small summary of where we are in all this. First, we proved that we need to follow the commandment, “Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor.” The prohibition covers slander or calumny, detraction, gossip, and other such. Each man has a right to a good name.

Yet there are times when right reason allows or even obliges us to reveal the evil of another, be it a sin they did or do, a character flaw, etc. St. Thomas Aquinas demonstrated that for us to form a judgment upon another’s evil, three things are required: good intention of will, certainty of truth in the intellect, and the competency or authority to judge.

It may startle some to hear that, yes, in fact, we can judge our neighbor’s behavior – never, of course, the state of his soul – yet St. Paul assures us, “What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. ‘Expel the wicked man from among you.’” (1 Cor 5:12-13) And saying of Jesus such as “Then treat him as you would a pagan,” or “then pick the speck out of your brother’s eye,” and his exhortations to fraternal correction, further assure us.

Now comes the next question, which I said last week which we would address: how. How am I to speak of another person’s ills, without failing against charity. Maybe all the conditions are there, and I have to speak to another person about my neighbor’s failing(s); so now, what is the right way to do it, so I can continue to be loving towards God and neighbor, and so imitate Jesus?

If there is scandal against the faith, a loud response is appropriate. St. Francis de Sales (Introduction to the Devout Life, III, 29) teaches, “It is our duty to denounce as strongly as we can heretical and schismatic sects and their leaders. It is an act of charity to cry out against the wolf when he is among the sheep, wherever he is.”

Yet most of the time, the matter at hand will not require of us such drastic action.

Build: if discussing certain evils in the presence of children, for example, will only scandalize them, it’s off limits. It “must be for the profit of either the person spoken about or the person spoken to.” Build, do not destroy. Informing the police of a crime, for example, is done for the good of criminal, self, and society.

Excuse: try to excuse the person’s intention. This is not always possible, for certain intentions are laid bare by the doer of the act, such as adultery or blasphemy. But if possible, excuse. “Maybe he didn’t mean it.” “Maybe I didn’t understand right.” “Maybe they said they were sorry, or are planning to.”

Restrain: Avoid any exaggerations, insults or pointlessly bitter editorial comments. Avoid suppositions or suspicions unless the evidence is irrefutable and clear for all to see. Say nothing more than what is necessary about it. Cool your temper before speaking to anyone about it. “The stroke I give must be neither more nor less than the truth,” St. Francis says.

The two principles behind all of this are these: goodness and truth. I need to show goodness to my neighbor, indeed, even to my enemy, yet within the boundaries of the truth, never imagining it is possible to sacrifice the truth in the name of good.

There is only one more point I wish to address, and that is what to do in the case of public scandal in the case of clergy. That will be the topic of next month, and will conclude our series on charitable speech and slander. May God help us all praise both Him and our neighbor with the one and the same tongue.

Picture: "Whenever I speak of my neighbor, the tongue in my mouth is like a scalpel in the hand of a surgeon." (St. Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, III, 29) Used correctly it cures, used incorrectly it kills.