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He Who Controls His Tongue is a Pefect Man (James 3:2)

        On Charitable Speech and Slander (Part 7)
Associate Pastor's Column
Sunday, February 18, 2007

We are deep into our series, so before we jump into today’s theme, let’s to a snapshot summary of where we are in all this.

            We have discussed how the eighth commandment and charity demand that we respect the reputation of others; that rash judgment, calumny (when we speak a lie) and detraction (when we speak even a truth) are sins. Last week we looked at those cases where we need to speak about the moral faults or failings of our neighbor, for indeed there are times when we are to reveal such things and yet it does not classify as detraction. We set three conditions: knowledge of the truth, good will, and competency to judge: given these conditions, we may then proceed to reveal to another the moral evils of another person. Good, let that stand as our summary of where we are in our discussion.

            Today I promised to study the question of “how” to speak ill of another, whereas last week we spoke of “when” we may do so. For the manner in which we do so also carries moral consequences.

            St. Francis de Sales in the third part of the Introduction to the Devout Life (III, 29) has much to say on this, so I’ll continue to comment his magnificent writings a little at a time, some today, and more later.

            He says, “To speak rightly against another’s vices it must be for the profit of either the person spoken about or the persons spoken to.” He gives an example of discussing some man or woman’s loose life before youth; the topic and manner of discussion would only lead their “tender minds” to scandal. He also says that if one is the leader of the group, he has a special obligation to speak out, lest he, and also the whole group I would add, be understood to approve of an evil act or conduct. So that’s the first point of “how”: not to bash, but to build.

            Then he moves on to an excellent point, an requisite which is probably the hardest thing for anyone on earth to do: “Above all, I must be very cautious in my remarks and not say a single word too much.” Call the sin what it is, he says, “but I will not give it a worse name.” We see examples of failures of this in our day all over the media. Am I the only who has noticed that there is no longer conservative and liberal, but only “ultra-conservative” and “ultra-liberal.” In most cases, that is probably naming something in excess. Or if someone was imprudent and said something I know to be not true, perhaps he was in error, so it would be rash and excessive of me to call him a “liar.” Or if in a work group, someone wants to improve on something, I too would be guilty if I told everyone he was trying to “ruin everything” and the like, just because I didn’t like his plan.

            It is also ruinous for me to accuse my neighbor of speaking ill, when my neighbor is simply correcting me; this is another fault whose origin is in pride. No one likes to be corrected, let’s face it; yet I can be blinded by my pride to my own errors so that, when my neighbor does in fact correct me for my fault, and even with charity and no excess,

            So this is the second point on “how”: say the truth, and not a tad bit more. No, no filler, no suppositions, no drawing out implications and probabilities, not what I suppose to be the truth and feel pretty sure that I’m sure, just the truth and nothing else. That’s very hard, for the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve. So if you find it’s hard for you, don’t panic, just get in line with the rest of us who beg for God’s grace and mercy.

            St. Francis summarizes it best with the words, “The stroke I give must be neither more nor less than the truth. To conclude, we must be especially careful when condemning a vice to spare as far as possible the person in whom it is found.”

            Next week, we shall consider what to do in cases of public scandal, notorious sinners, declared enemies of God and the Church and heretics.

Picture: If it's 33 degrees F, don't say it's freezing. Similarly, "The stroke I give must be neither more nor less than the truth." (St. Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, III, 29