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Speak about Others as You Would Have Them Speak about You
I am overjoyed at the wonderful progress many of our parishioners are making in cultivating a spirit of true love for one another especially in speech. One parishioner sent me an e-mail highly praising another parishioner whose virtues, skills and talents had edified her. Others are asking how to not speak ill of their neighbor, when they have the bad habit; still others are asking how to address problems when they arise without at the same time falling into slander. To each of these questions, this series of articles has offered seeds of the answers, and more will be said. Next week, for example, we will be in the area of addressing ills without at once falling into sin, and it is important for a good Catholic to do both. What a pity it would be if we spoke well of another person’s vices, or failed to help our neighbor grow to spiritual perfection. And in later weeks, we will touch on other aspects. Spiritual perfection is not attained overnight, so let’s all work through this slowly and surely, so that we can truly love God above all things and our neighbor as ourselves. Today’s article will focus on one more reason why St. Francis De Sales gives us to persuade us against uncharitable speech, be it slander (when we speak falsely about our neighbor’s defects) or detraction (when we do so unjustifiably even when it is true): because we don’t really know the state of repentance of the sinner. Imagine I call someone a drunkard, when just yesterday he went to confession and then entered Alcoholics Anonymous to overcome his problem? Imagine I gossip about a young lady who moved in with her boyfriend, when it was only yesterday when she came to her senses and left that situation to move back in with her parents? St. Francis says, “A single act is not enough to justify the vice.” (Introduction to the Devout Life, III, 29.) One may say, one sin does not a hopeless man make. He continues, “Even if a man may have been addicted to a vice for a long time, we are in danger of falsehood if we call him a vicious man. Simon the leper called Mary Magdalene a sinner, because she had been on not long before, but he spoke untruly since she was no longer a sinner but a most sincere penitent. Hence our Savior took her under his protection.” What would happen if our Savior, Jesus Christ, eternal Son of God, and Son of the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Eternal Word made Flesh, through whom all things were made, took someone under his protection, and I though it would be a good idea to attack that person. It would be like attacking God. And of course you don’t want to attack God, for even if you are weak and fall into sin from time to time, you manage to turn back to your Father with repentance and love. Therefore, if you don’t want to attack God, don’t attack the poor soul whom he has taken under his protection. Similarly, if you want to love God, love the poor soul whom he has taken under his protection. And in this way, one can use simple logic to help himself grow closer to the love of the Heart of Jesus. Imagine if your neighbor – here I mean anyone, not just the lady next door – found out the most embarrassing sin you had ever committed. You only did it once, and you went to confession, you promised not to do it again, and you have kept your promise with more or less fidelity. Would you like it if your neighbor told everyone you had ever known that you had done that, and that you still do it, and that you hopelessly forever will do that? Certainly not. And it would be evil for others to speak about you that way. So if you don’t want others to speak of you that way, why should you even toy with the idea of speaking of others in a similar way? Speak about others as you would have them speak about you, and let all your words be as full of love as of truth.
Picture: One tree does not a forest make. Similarly, St. Francis De Sales teaches, “A single act is not enough to justify the vice,” when we regard our neighbor. Thanks for picture: http://www.preferredprintinginc.com/ |
